What I Get Paid For

man on the TV just doesn't get it
stick around, ride it out? you gotta be kidding
poor folk got killed by their own stupidity
why can't they be smarter like you & like me?
yeah, you know it, for you it's a breeze
with your fat bank account & your five SUVs
you'd've got out, you understand
you'd wrestle that storm with your BARE FUCKING HANDS
what I wouldn't give to put you where they are
no choices, no family, no money, no car
lose the bullshit you think you can't live without
then maybe you'd see this is nobody's fault
but I guess when you live with the whole world adjacent
there's no reason to be anything but complacent
I should've spoke up, said I just didn't buy it
but I missed my chance, yeah I kept myself quiet

(chorus)
now I'm trying to stay cool, trying to keep it together
but I'm stuck hating you & I'm stuck hating me
I'm trying to stand tall underneath all this weather
but I'm not sure it matters what I want to be
I'm trying to remember that I am a light
cause this darkness is not what I came for
& I want to believe what I'm doing is right
it isn't much but it's what I get paid for
what I get paid for
what I get

man on the pulpit's got it all in his grasp
this whole thing boils down to his god & his wrath
bunch of sinners died sinning cause they couldn't get reborn
now I'm sinning to question, I'm sinning to mourn
yeah, you got it, cause god's on your side
makes it easy to forget all those thousands who died
your god's doing what no man could do
yeah, he cleaned up that place, glory be, hallelu!
but you got a point, this world don't count for nothing
I mean, who gives a shit when the Rapture is coming?
so you sit back & praise while they fight for survival
tell me one thing: did you ever READ that there Bible?
cause salvation means more than just being a good Christian
see, I think God's still talking, it's just you're not listening
& I hope when you fall what he said makes you wonder:
"my greatest commandment was LOVE ONE ANOTHER"

(chorus)

so here I sit fighting back my own tears
looks like I've wasted hours, hell, I've wasted years
what gives me the right to be warm, dry, & safe?
what gives me the right to call this world my place?
now I get it, the problem is clear
the enemy's marching & I stayed right here
too afraid of the work, too afraid of the climb
too bad being here is a FUCKING WASTE OF TIME!
but I want to believe that what I'm doing matters
that my hands aren't too weak, that my trust isn't shattered
that people are decent, that love is what saves
that God is each one of us, that this world can change
I'm trying, but my faith just gets swallowed by strife
guess this is a weak moment, a weak year, a weak life
but you know I'll keep singing, you know I'll keep praying
please just tell me I'm making the future worth saving

(chorus)

This is the angriest song I've written in a LONG time and I don't regret that at all.
Writing this song helped me feel like I was doing something to call attention to all the bad things that are happening in the world right now.
Of course, I still don't know whether it really counts for anything...
Time will tell.

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