the story is told that his god came down
& clothed himself in skin
& when enemies were all around
gave his life up once again
he wanted to think he could be so brave
& peacefully to go
only to find that the trouble with brave is
it's only brave if you know
but I think he would have said
"o my soul the memories don't make the man
just something like salvation in the work of my hands
so I have to believe that faith will manage somehow
to see beyond what I've been into what I am now
the hated thing inside me grew in power & rage
but how was I to know beneath the blank of the page?
so what will happen to me now I leave up to you
this life is just a doorway & I'm only passing through"
now I am collecting the names of God
as substitute for proof
with my fingers sore & stained with ink
I'm no closer to the truth
I wanted to think I could be so sure
of blessings I'd bestow
only to find the trouble with faith is
it isn't faith if you know
& I wish they could have said
"o my soul there isn't much to understand
just something like salvation in the work of your hands
& if you & the universe come from the same star
then how can you be far from God when God's what you are?
now you are made to wonder, sent to figure it out
your glory in uncertainty, your power in doubt
so feel the fear you must, but there is still work to do
the dark is just a doorway, you are only passing through"
My song for year three of Babylon 5 Love Month
is inspired by one of the great underrated episodes of B5,
"Passing Through Gethsemane",
& my own fears.