I'm between lines right now
if you absolutely must know
I'm still getting used to me
& a day without your saying so
& now on Friday nights
I got a seat at the Guild downtown
with friends who know my name
& don't usually mess me around
if you must know
I met a boy I can dedicate
big blue eyes
& a hand that hesitates
but if I stared any longer I don't think he'd even care
cause when he stands before my face
it's like he's not even there

it's like walking to your house in the melting snow
live wires above, buried cables below
go too far & I'm gonna get fried
so perhaps it's better not to step outside
cause if you knew the tears I cried
at the very thought of your suicide
which way is up, which way to go?
I'm in limbo

I'm between loves right now
if you're curious at all
I have this fire to give
but I'm afraid to taking a fall
so now when I get down
I got this guitar strapped to my back
I got new chords to sound
a melody for a midnight snack
if you wonder at all
there's a boy with scars to match mine
hurting face
& his heart in his hand all the time
but some days he will cast his life in seconds at my feet
& other days when our bodies pass
it's like he can't even see


I'm between lives right now
if you're dying for me to tell
a past in my left hand
& the endless present as well
& now I'm in this room
with your picture flaming so strong
did you leave me alone?
have I been alone all along?
if you want me to tell
there's a boy like a song just for me
aching tune
sinuous beat, bitter harmony
I'll drown in his brown eyes & the honesty I can feel
but the more I look, the more I think
he might not even be real


The oldest song on Underneath The Mask...I wrote it in spring 2000 when I was 17 years old.
It shows its age in some parts, but overall I'm pretty happy with how it's held up since then.