Every Angel

Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels' hierarchies?
and even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart:
I would be consumed in that overwhelming existence.
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we are still just able to endure,
and we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
Every angel is terrifying. And yet, alas, I invoke you.

tree of life & tree of knowledge
for a moment looked the same
but when I'm naked & I'm ignorant
am I really the one to blame?
but still you stand at the entrance to my garden
holding high your flaming sword
saying that you think it's best for all of us
that I don't live there anymore

(chorus 2x)
you've come here with one duty
your voice now calling to me
so terrible in your beauty
like every angel should be

now my birthright's a straightjacket
& my good deeds are as ash
the feathered wings my faith has given me
weigh so heavily on my back
I prayed so long for a token of his favor
that he'd claim me as his own
but the only sign that ever came to me
said that my sin was mine alone

(chorus 2x)

And yet, when you have survived the terror of the first glances,
the longing at the window, and the first walk together, once only, through the garden:
lovers, are you the same?
When you lift yourselves up to each other's mouth and your lips join,
drink against drink: oh how strangely each drinker seeps away from his action.

now I worship you in silence
but sometimes the secret slips
like when the sweet annunciation falls
unexpectedly from your lips
so I will search for a sign of his forgiveness
in the form of a raven or a dove
knowing that I'd sooner drown beneath the flood
that I would step outside this love

(chorus 2x)

tree of life & tree of knowledge
for a moment looked the same
but when I'm naked & I'm ignorant
am I really the one to blame?
but still you stand at the entrance to my garden
holding high your flaming sword
saying that you think it's best for all of us
that I don't live there anymore

So I was sitting at a show listening to a terrible song about angels and thought,
"If you think about how angels really are, Biblically,
they never show up to reassure you that everything is going to be okay."
Therefore, this song is dedicated to Brie.
The italicized portions are borrowed from the
Duino Elegies by Rainer Maria Rilke.

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